If You Had My Love
by Becci Wooster
Summary: A one off based on the song by Jennifer Lopez


**If You Had My Love**  
by: [Becci Wooster][1]

**Disclaimer -** I don't own the characters. I don't own the song this is based on. I have no connections to anyone who may possibly own the characters or the song. 

**Author's Note -** OK, I love this song. It's by Jennifer Lopez, and I've been driving my family crazy the past few days by playing it over and over. I'm writing my first song-fic 'cause I thought this song was apt. I've written other series inspired by a song, but this just revolves around the song. Enjoy, and give me feedback!

* * *

_If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
And if somehow you knew   
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
And call me baby_

    Joey suddenly realised that she was walking towards Dawson's house. She had left for school that morning, and without thinking, made the usual journey to Dawson's. They used to walk together. But that was before she had betrayed him by kissing Jack McPhee. And before he had completely blown the situation out of proportion. She winced, remembering the humiliation she had felt when they realised that there was a crowd round them. He had looked pointedly at her, making her remember her pledge, before storming off. As badly as she knew she'd hurt him, she also felt anger towards him. He failed to understand that she was finding it hard to be with him. He wanted the fairytale romance, and Joey couldn't give that to him yet. She felt something was missing. He wasn't entirely with her. When she was hurting the most, he seemed oblivious to her pain. Like the detention - she had almost poured out her innermost feelings, yet he hadn't realised the damn was close to bursting. And her art - she was confused, yet he expected her to stay focus on him. There were so many other things going on right now. Why couldn't he just support her?

* * *

_If I give you me  
This is how it's got to be  
First of all, I won't take you cheating on me  
Who can I trust?   
If I can't trust in you  
And I refuse to let you   
Play me for a fool_

    Dawson felt a pain to his innermost core. It felt like his heart was being twisted and pulled. And it wouldn't stop. He couldn't sleep; he couldn't read. He couldn't even watch a movie. In the movies, there was no answer to betrayal. And that's what he felt. It was the dame feeling when he found out about his mother's affair. And again when Joey admitted she had known. Suddenly he understood his father's pain. He understood how his father had felt when he cried in front of his son, confessing he didn't know the answers. Mitch hadn't known the way to deal with his wife's infidelity. And Dawson understood the pain and feelings of inadequacy. He had tried to think of what it was that Jack possessed that made Joey kiss him. Why had she turned to Jack and not Dawson? Obviously, Joey had been waiting all these years for something that didn't match up to her expectations. His initial anger had turned to self pity and then into utter heartbreak. But whilst Mitch didn't get taught the way to deal with these feelings, Dawson had been shown the way not to. His mother, who had cried herself to sleep that night in an empty bed, was proof of what happened if you went about it the wrong way. Dawson wanted Joey back. He would just have to try and trust her again. 

* * *

_You said that we could possibly  
Spend eternity  
That's what you told me   
That's what you said  
If you want me  
You have to be  
Fulfilling all my needs  
If you really want me _

* * *

    Joey thought back to a conversation that she and Dawson had had a few months ago. In it, they had discussed the possibility that they had been married in a previous life. At the time, Joey had been deeply in love, and Dawson had been utterly oblivious. But it was the first time they had mentioned the idea of being together forever. And Joey doubted that now. Dawson would never forgive her for kissing Jack. And she didn't know if she would be able to live with Dawson's constant put downs of her love of art. She needed him to understand her. But she still wanted him. She couldn't imagine life without him. She loved him, and always would. She wished she hadn't let Jack kiss her.

* * *

_If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
And if somehow you knew   
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
And call me baby_

You said you want my love  
And you've got to have it all  
But first there are some things you need to know  
If you want to live with all I have to give  
I need to feel true love  
Or it's got to end

    Dawson had truly, and possibly naively, believed that what he and Joey had was true love. He had pictured them getting old together, still very much in love. And it was due to her putting her heart on the line a few weeks ago that he felt like this. The night he found her in his bedroom was the second time she had come close to admitting her love for him - the first was after the contest. He had always known that their friendship was more than friendship - after all, he wasn't as close to or protective of Pacey. But that kiss had revealed a new side of Joey to him. After the contest, he had realised he might have feelings for her, but she had refused him. The wondrous night of their kiss had been the first time that they had both accepted, forgetting any repercussions. But true love wouldn't include kissing another guy. He needed to speak with her - to find out if she had feelings for Jack. If she did, her heart didn't belong to him.

* * *

_I don't want you  
Trying to get with me  
Lying upon her bed  
Don't need hurt  
Don't need pain  
So what I'll do  
Before I give myself you  
I'll have to know the truth  
If I spend my life with you_

    Joey could still remember the pain she had felt the morning she had found Jen and Dawson kissing on his bed. She knew that this must be nothing compared to the hurt Dawson felt right now. After all, at the time, Dawson and Joey weren't a couple. But now...her betrayal must have stung Dawson. She needed to find him and apologise. If she could prove her love for him, and he forgave her, they would work together on her feelings. Them being together again would solve whatever was unsettling her. She was sure that she would find out what it was, and once she did, she would show Dawson how to be with her without suffocating her. 

* * *

_If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
And if somehow you knew   
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
And call me baby_

If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
And if somehow you knew   
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
And call me baby

    All Dawson wanted was for Joey to say she had no feelings for Jack McPhee. If she did that, he'd forgive her in an instant. He just needed to find her.

* * *

_If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
Tell me baby  
And if somehow you knew   
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
Don't lie to me  
And call me baby_

If you had my love  
And I gave you all my trust  
Would you comfort me?  
What would you do?   
If I gave it to you  
And if somehow you knew  
That your love would be untrue  
Would you lie to me?  
And call me baby

    Joey looked about her as she hurried down the corridor. She didn't know whether Dawson was at school already or not. But she had to find him. She turned a corner, and ran straight into a chest. She stepped back, and looked up as she began to apologise.  
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry..." she said before realising whom it was.   
"Joey," Dawson said, his voice filled with emotion, and his eyes full of hope. She blinked back tears that threatened to fall.  
"Dawson," she replied before falling into his open arms. They held each other lovingly and tenderly. "I love you," she murmured into his ear before they kissed.

* * *

Soppy? I bet you loved it! I can't believe how quickly I wrote this - completely done in about 25 minutes! Well, I'd appreciate feedback, but this is only a one off. However, if it's successful, I'll write some more stories based on songs. If you have a song you'd like me to write a story about, send me the lyrics.  
[Write To Becci][2]

* * *

[Back to the D/J fanfics][3]  
[Back to the main page][4]

* * *

   [1]: mailto:Fanfic@capeside2000.freeserve.co.uk?subject=Music fic
   [2]: mailto:Fanfic@capeside2000.freeserve.co.uk?subject=
   [3]: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/2799/djff.html
   [4]: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/2799



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